3-11

Penny - 1670 g (3 lbs 10 oz)   Lydia - 6 lbs 8 oz

I know, you're all shocked to finally be getting another update.  It's been a bit crazy around here and this is only the beginning.  There is little medical news to share on either girl.  Penny is slowly improving.  Very slowly.  But we'll take whatever we can get!  She's having more difficulty that we would like in the weight gain department.  The doctors have tried increasing her volume of feeds, which led to reflux.  Now the reflux is being treated and the calories of her food has been increased as well as MCT oil (fish oil) is being added.  There is some concern that she's having some mal-absorption issues which basically just means she's not using all the nutrition she's being given.  There are many possible causes of this and they're looking into all of them.  We've been told multiple times that all of Penny's difficulties are all the kinds of things that maturity will improve and that it's a matter of time and size.  So we're not letting ourselves worry. 

Lydia is doing wonderfully.  She's sleeping well (for a newborn), gaining weight (like a champ), and pretty much just being normal...which is an amazing feat in this family!  She's starting to really enjoy her panda mobile (even if the palm leaves of the store bought mobile look not quite like bamboo with the handmade pandas) and we like to fool ourselves by thinking that she's starting to smile at us and not just at her gas.  The smiles are precious either way.

I, to be totally honest, have been through a rough week or so.  I'm feeling much better now, but there were a number of days there where the lack of sleep, crazy amounts of time spent pumping milk for the babies, and all of the cumulative stress took a scary toll on me.  When I told my doctor about the constant eye twitching, shaking hands, non-functioning brain..etc...she prescribed me some low dose Zoloft to take the edge off of the nerves.  Just the hope of relief was a relief in and of itself.  I was also afforded a little bit more sleep thanks to Jonathan's wonderful nocturnal mother who came to take care of Lydia all night and told me to go to sleep.  I'm glad I obeyed.  I took a few days of the Zoloft but with the additional sleep I'm feeling so much better that I'm not sure if it's really necessary anymore.  My eye is still twitching and I'm still pretty brain dead, but I'm handling the stress a little better with more sleep.  Now the question is, do I continue to take the medicine to help with the nerve related stress indicators and in anticipation of more sleepless nights and stress when Penny comes home, or do i just hold on to it and have it as an option should the stress get too much.  I'm not really asking for opinions on what I should do, I'm asking for prayer for wisdom and discernment as Jonathan and I make this decision together.  I was hesitant to post about it because of the stigma that antidepressant medications have.  But there is no reason that I should be ashamed to be honest about what's really going on. I've said it before and I"ll say it again.  I don't have it all together and neither do you. 

Thank you for your prayers and support (especially the delicious food!).  Because you know I like to stress eat! Just kidding.....kinda.