Emmanuel

Last night, Jonathan and I looked at the pictures of the girls' first day of life.  I was overwhelmed with emotion that I hadn't let myself feel yet.  The fact that these precious little girls were taken so early from the only place they had every known and had tubes shoved down their throats and needles poked in their veins.  They went to a room far away from the only voices they were familiar with to a place where they recognized nothing.  Three hours later they heard their daddy's voice again.  I cant imagine the comfort that it was for them to hear his voice say "this is your daddy. I love you. I love you very much" the same way he had they're whole lives to that point.  It wasn't until six hours after that that I got to see my precious girls for the first time.  I was so filled with joy at their existence that the reality of what they had been through didn't hit me.  We've been in a day by day survival mode since then and I guess seeing the pictures of that day almost a year ago let me see it from their perspective.  They are so tough.  Our Father has not just been our Father in heaven but has been Emmanuel. God with us.

Today Lydia is eating big girl food, taking a sippy cup, and crawling wherever her little heart desires.  Usually that's to something she can pull up on or climb.  Penny sat in her nursery floor unsupported today for an hour or so and played with her toys.  With a little bit of help she can get on all fours and crawl to whatever she wants. Ok, maybe a lot of help, but she can do it!  They are both joyful little women with so much life.  If I had known a year ago that this is what I would be doing today, I wouldn't have had to trust my Emmanuel for strength, wisdom and endurance.  I wouldn't have had to beg him for the lives of my children. I would have been ok with Him just being my Father in heaven.  Today I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is with us and that He loves us and that no matter how hard or painful or seemingly cruel things are, His plan is always to work everything together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  I would call my time in the nursery floor today good.